


Love, Dean and Cas

by trashy_kai



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boy Love, Diary, Fluff, Gay Dean, John doesn't suck, Love Letters, M/M, Pansexual Castiel, Teen!Cas, Teen!Dean, gay!Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-22 05:31:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2496239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashy_kai/pseuds/trashy_kai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas share a diary in which they write to each other from the moment they start dating.  From love letters to wet dreams and back with love letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Date

Dear Dean,

 

It’s been a week since you finally agreed to go out with me. I’ve never been happier than the day you said Yes to me.

  
  


It was a thursday and we were in English together, you were wearing a plaid shirt, tight blue jeans and a worn out leather jacket. I was sitting next to you, and it was torture, I felt like every single atom of me was trying to make me get closer to you. Maybe that is the reason why when Mr. Crowley asked me to go to the black board I fainted and fell on your lap.

You were graceful and even if you had a teenage boy on your lap, you still took me to the ward. You carried me on your lap, and although I can’t remember it, I’ve been told you were gentle and that my head was laying softly on your shoulder.

Everyone tells me that you stayed with me while the nurse check out my blood pressure and that you only left when your brother called you.

I woke up alone, and when the nurse got back, her first words were “Your boyfriend is worried sick about you!” with a light chuckle. I didn’t know what she was talking about so I tilted my head, that was also the moment you walked back inside the room and started throwing me questions that made my head dizzy.

“I’m okay.” Was the only thing I could answer; I had no idea why you were so pissed at me, we’ve only talked during the most boring classes and even then it wasn’t about anything interesting.

The most important thing was that when I tried to speak, the first thing that got out of my mouth were the words “Will you go out with me? Like… On a date?” and your answer was a simple “Yes.”. You smiled at me and I felt my whole body relax, breathing lightly and even a smile crossed my lips.

That was one of the most important things, you agreed to go out with me, and then, on the next day, I took you to the cinema and we watched a Marvel movie (Thor II was brilliant, shut up Dean!) and then we had dinner on a restaurant near the cinema. It wasn’t a fancy restaurant, it was mainly a diner, only with buffay and loads of different food to eat. Steak with chips was my meal and you teased me when I mentioned liking cheeseburgers. Why else would you want to eat one in front of me and moan the living shit out of it? “Ugh, Cas! You have no idea how good these are! Hmmm…” But my steak was delicious as well, so I told you to shut the fuck up and moaned deeply around a forkful of juicy red meat. Everything changed when you asked for that piece of pie… That damn thing had you moaning and making it incredibly hard to concentrate on actually eating my ice cream, it was so hard to ignore the way you licked the spoon clean. Jesus fuck! I wasn’t even sure how to hide the hard line pressed against my jeans that felt like a sign saying I HAVE A HARD ON, COME SEE!

Anyway, you moaned your way through the pie and I was supporting a raging boner by the end of it. When you finally deemed yourself satisfied we walked around the park, discovering empty trails; you held my hand whenever I lost balance and at some point you just didn’t let my hand go. We walked close to each other, and by the end of the night I left you in your place, offering a kiss on your cheek, because let’s be honest, if I gave only one kiss on your lips I would never let them off my mouth again.

  
  


Today is Saturday, and thinking about that our date last night makes my stomach turn and releases the butterflies, making me all giddy and tingly.

I can’t wait until we go out again.

 

Love,

Cas

 

 


	2. When We Met

Dear Cas,

 

Today I sat by you during math class and you were looking so gorgeous. The way your brows frowned whenever the question was too hard, or the way you pressed your lips together, containing a smile, whenever you got something right… It was adorable.

We had lunch together and I begged you to let me steal some of your fries. But you just wouldn’t let me; You smirked and patted my hand away from your food and whenever I tried diverting your attention you put your hands on my legs and oh my god, the way you were caressing my leg… Jesus fuck! Man I got an erection from that!

After lunch I managed to convince you to skip the last class and walk with me. I texted Sammy to let him know I would be late and as soon as he replied ‘K’ I shoved the phone into my pocket, grabbed your hand, interlaced our fingers together and together we walked out of school.

 

I didn’t care about getting home any time soon, I didn’t care about what other people thought when they saw us. I only cared about the way your hand fits in mine and how gorgeous you look whenever you smile up at me, or how amazing it feels to have your lips touching my skin. We still hadn’t kissed on the lips, and that made me a bit jumpy. I really care about you Cas, and the way you kept denying to kiss my lips made me feel dizzy; but I knew when it finally happened, it would be magical. Even if we hadn’t kissed yet, I still got to kiss your cheek, your hand and your neck. Listening to your sighs as we walked down the road, getting lost between stores, only to realize we were only one turn away from the kids park, full with swings and slides and metal bars painted red. We walked to the swings and you sat on my lap.

Our first kiss felt like home and the way your fingers brushed against my hair... I couldn’t help sighing into our kiss and push you as close to myself as I could.

  
  


Having you on my arms was magic and now, that I am home without you… It doesn’t feel like home anymore. It feels nostalgic, like something dear to me… But not as precious as my actual home… Not as precious as you. I know, I know… I’m a hopeless romantic, but you looked just as happy as I felt, and hopefully we will get to do this many more times. I know it’s too soon to say stuff like I love you or You’re my everything, but during that time, when I held you close, I felt all of those things were true. Now I’m not so sure, I believe I might be falling for you, but then again… Who wouldn’t?

I knew I would fall for you the second I saw you in the hallway for the first time, it was the first day of junior year and you were lost, every which way you turned you frowned even more and oh my God, you looked so gorgeous, your mother convinced you to wear a tie to school and all that I wanted was to rip it off of you, or even better, to take everything off except the tie and kiss every inch of flesh you would let me.

I talked to you for the first time two days after that, you were sitting beside me and you looked like you were about to fall asleep. I decided to start talking to you, or I would regret it forever. That first lesson with Mr. Crowley was what started out friendship and made it possible to add some romance into it. In my head, I thank Mr. Crowley everyday for his boring classes, for the way he makes you lose focus and completely turn your brain off, so you can turn it on for me.

I love how you answered me that first time with a thankful smile, as if I was saving you from the most dreadful thing you’ve ever seen. I loved the feeling of seeing your smile on your lips thanks to myself.

Even now, thinking of it makes me warm inside and I don’t know how the hell you can make me blush with only a memory, but I love the fact that you are able to do that.

 

Anyway, I loved our lunch date, and our skipping classes date too. Literally- Just being around you is the best thing I could ever hope for.

  
  


Love,

Dean.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment with your thoughts on the chapter! ^^


	3. Meeting the Parents

Dear Dean,

 

Our first week together has been amazing, we have been hanging out together everyday after school; we go to your place more often than mine, but that’s okay. I met your brother two days ago and he was so excited to meet his brother’s boyfriend; when you went to the kitchen to get us some snacks, he managed to grab a book with baby pictures of you and made sure to show me every single picture he had of you stark naked, making weird faces at the camera and even the ones where you looked completely adorable, wrapped up in a white blanket on your mother’s arms. He made sure to express his happiness towards our recent relationship and so far we have been going along famously.

I met your parents yesterday. We were at your place once more and as I was about to leave your mother walked inside and made sure I stayed for dinner. Your father was pleased that you were hanging out with nice kids and not some jocks that like to hurt others. I was under the impression you would let your family think we were just friends(except for your brother, of course) yet you surprised me. “ _Castiel isn’t just my friend_ ”, you said, “ _he’s my **boyfriend**_ ”. You looked at your dad, probably expecting any kind of reaction and when your dad simply gave you his congratulations and a smile, you looked me in the eyes and smiled so brightly I thought I would become blind. Your mother kept smiling and asking us questions, “ _How did you guys meet?_ ” and “ _Who asked who out?_ ” and even “ _How long have you two been together?_ ”.

Being around your family was nice, we answered all the questions and smiled brightly at both of them. I was so proud that you weren’t ashamed of me, that you wouldn’t hide me as if I was a secret that had to be kept. While your parents were around us, I gave you a kiss on your cheek because I even if they were happy for us, that didn’t mean I would just go and flat out kiss you on the lips. Everything at its time. But when they left us alone, I made sure to kiss you as deeply as I could and you let my hands wander inside your shirt, my nails were scraping your back lightly and you made sure to let me know just how much you liked it both by pressing your rapidly forming erection against mine and moaning softly against my lips. We didn’t do anything beyond that, anyone could walk in on us and I’m pretty sure it would have been awkward to explain why the fuck we were rutting against each other, so we kept our kissing soft and left it at that.

I sang to myself all the way home, I was happier than ever and I loved the fact that you felt comfortable enough around me to  _show me off_  to your parents, to hold my hand in front of them and to even kiss my cheek when they were talking about how happy they were that you had a relationship that you deemed important enough to introduce your boyfriend to them.

I got home late as I couldn’t help but go to a convenience store and buy an ice cream to eat while I texted you, or while we skyped.

* * *

Today, we were on Skype, talking, when my mother walked inside my room, asking me what I was doing, and you were polite while introducing yourself and I couldn’t help but smile at her and saying loud and clear “ _Mom, this is my boyfriend Dean._ ”, my mother looked happy for me and kissed me on the cheek. She patted my head and told you “ _When are you coming to dinner?_ ” I hugged my mom and we both answered her it will be “ _Soon._ ”, she disappeared from my room and just before closing the door she winked at me. I felt relieved that my mom was also happy for us and I heard you chuckle on the other side of the video call.

Just a few minutes ago, we were simply watching a comedy movie, each of us in our houses, video calling on Skype and I swear to God I have never wished to actually be beside you more than at that time. All I wanted was to cuddle close to you, feel your arms around me and maybe, just maybe, to fall asleep in your arms.

I can’t wait until the day we actually have the opportunity to cuddle close to each other while watching a movie, and I sincerely hope it will be soon. Because if that doesn’t happen soon, I’m afraid I won’t be able to survive.

 

Love,

Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you enjoyed, thank you for reading and leaving kudos! :)  
> Find me on [tumblr](http://bidean.co.vu)


	4. Warm Hugs and Soft Kisses

Dear Cas,

 

Mom won’t stop talking about you. She and dad seemed impressed with you and spend the whole day asking when you’re coming back, if I’ve met your family, what your brother thinks of us… They’re as supportive as a family can be, and I wasn’t exactly expecting them to be as cool with us as they are. I really like the fact that we can hold hands, sit down close to each other, hug… And we don’t have to worry about them finding out. I like it because I love the way you smile when I kiss your cheek, the way you snuggle closer to me and how your arms fit around me.

Sammy is also wandering if you are going to come over more often; I like the fact you and my family seem to get along so well. It’s refreshing to see everyone sitting in the couch watching a movie instead of what most people have to go through when they are too scared to announce they are in a relationship with a guy.

Dinner at your place went alright, your mother was cool, she kept winking at us when she thought your brother couldn’t see and your dad… Your dad looked proud of you. After dinner, when you and your brother helped your mother get the dessert, you dad told me he knew you were gay for a long time and that he was so proud that you weren’t afraid of telling them you had a boyfriend. I smiled and nodded, I told him _“And I am proud to be his boyfriend.”_. Your father looked happy with my response and simply smiled. The rest of you walked back into the dining room and we resumed our meal.

That night, when I got home, my parents cornered me and asked me all kinds of things _“How did it go?”_ and _“Did they like you?”_ and _“When do we get to meet them?_ ” were the main questions, but a lot more followed. They wanted to know every little detail about dinner and simply didn’t care if it was almost midnight and we had to get up early the next day.

The only member of your family that looked like he didn’t like me much was your brother. Samandriel looks like he is a very shy kid, he barely even spoke to me. Whenever I was looking at you or talking to your parents, he would stare in silence, as if he was examining me. I tried to be polite, to smile in his direction whenever I caught him looking, but he didn’t seem fazed by my gesture.

As soon as my parents inquiry finished I took off my clothes and climbed to bed. I took my phone out and texted you, asking what you thought of your brother’s reaction. Because seriously, the kid’s attitude bothered me a bit. You replied _“Don’t worry, he’s just trying to see if you’re nice.”_ , but that wasn’t very reassuring… _What if he didn’t think I was nice? What if the ten year old hated me? Would he tell Cas I wasn’t good for him?_ I was really distressed so when I still hadn’t answered you after ten minutes, you called me. “ _It’s okay, Dean. He will like you!_ ” I hummed something in response and you chuckled, “ _Quit worrying, assbutt! He’s not gonna make any decision for me! If he doesn’t like you, too bad for him. It’s not like you are HIS boyfriend… Just keep being nice and he will warm up to you.”_. We changed the subject and soon enough I was falling asleep to the sound of your voice, soothing me and telling me it didn’t matter what others think, what truly matters is how we both feel.

Next morning, when I woke up, I was completely well rested and ready for the day. I saw you before classes and we kissed softly in a corner next to some stairs, where people don’t go very often. It was not like we were hiding, it was mostly because we didn’t want to get away from each other some of our friends saw us. We only wanted to be around the other and seriously our friends would have grabbed us both and taken us in different directions. When we weren’t kissing, I sat next to you and pulled you into my lap, putting my arms around your waist and nuzzling your neck. You smelled so good, so soft that all I wanted was to stay there forever and never let you go.

Unfortunately, the bell rang and we ended up going in different directions, because not all of our classes were together. I gave you one last kiss and a warm hug and told you I would meet you after school.

* * *

Now, I can’t fall asleep. I keep blushing and thinking about that time when I had my arms wrapped around you and you sighed happily against my neck. There’s no way I will be able to go to sleep any time soon. But that’s okay; I know that when I fall asleep, I will be dreaming of you.

 

Love,

Dean.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you enjoyed this chapter ^^  
> Find me on [tumblr](http://bidean.co.vu) :)


	5. Fight

Dear Dean,

 

You got into a fight yesterday. I was walking towards my car, since it was my turn to drive us home, when I saw a crowd roaring. Obviously, I went to see what it was and I could hardly believe it when I saw you throw a punch at a guy. You looked angry at him, your jaw clenching and your eyes looked red with fury. I ran up to you and tried to separate you from the other guy, but you didn't listen. " _He's a piece of shit"_ you snarled. " _Then he's not worth your anger! Back off Dean! Let's go."._  I tried to make you see the facts, just how wrong it would be to have you do something stupid, but you didn't care. You kept punching and throwing bitter words at the guy. When I finally made up my mind, I grabbed the kid's arm and twisted it. " _Now what the hell happened?"_  I still had no idea how this fight had started. Despite the fact that I could break the guy's arm, he smirked before he answered " _I just told your_ girlfriend  _that we don't need her around us anymore."._  I twisted his arm even more, anger boiling in my blood. " _I don't know who you're talking about. I only have a boyfriend and he is a thousand times a better person than you are.",_ the guys screamed as I kept twisting his arm, making sure I hurt him as much as I could.

No-one's allowed to talk about you like that, Dean. If it weren't for you, I would have snapped his arm in two. " _Cas, stop it. This isn't you… Let's go, come on, Cas…"_

You took me from the middle of the crowd, your hand found mine and our fingers curled against each other. We didn't care what other people thought, and we most definitely didn't care if some jackass decided that our relationship wasn't real enough cause one of us isn't a girl. This is why the world doesn't evolve faster, dickheads like that kid,  _Gordon_ I think, keep pushing progress down with their their stupid mentality.

We walked to my car and when we got inside, I drove us somewhere calm, a place we could forget all about that Gordon kid. When we were in the middle of an empty field, I pulled your body close to mine and kissed your temple. " _What did he tell you to leave you that upset?"_ , you tried to shrug it off but as I insisted you answered " _He said you're just a little bitch that only wants attention."_ , your voice was low and it looked like you were trying to hold back your anger. " _Don't listen to him. He's just jealous he can't kiss your beautiful mouth."_ I said with a wink and another kiss pressed to your temple.

I heard you sigh at some point. I thought you were asleep, since we had been snuggling for the past thirty minutes, but you turned to look at me smiled " _I'm glad you took me away from him. I would have done something really stupid. Like kill him or something."_ I chuckled and my fingers started caressing your hair. " _Likewise. I would have broken his arm if you hadn't pulled me away from him."._

After a while of just being close to each other, we decided to go back to your place and hang out, your mother wanted to get to know me better, so I was hanging out at your place almost everyday. Your mother was very pleasant and made me stay for dinner. Your father asked me some questions about us, about how long we knew each other and some things about me too, like when's my birthday, what I plan to do after college… You know, things parents ask their kid's boyfriend.

We decided to do a sleepover together during the weekend, so we could hang out all day and all night. It was hard to convince your parents, but at some point they were convinced and said they would let me stay with you.

 

I can't wait until the bell rings on Friday, cause all I can think of right now is how amazing our weekend will be.

 

Love,

Cas.

 


	6. Sleepover

Dear Cas,

 

I'm sorry I got into that fight; I just couldn't listen to Gordon speak badly of you. I was so happy when you stood up for me, just like I had done for you moments before.

The best part was after the fight, when we went away from everything together. I got to be held by you for the longest time and I loved feeling your hands roaming under my shirt, on my hair and simply pulling me closer to you. I loved how relaxed you were after that too, it was like having me in your arms was enough to sooth you. I sighed happily in your arms, as I felt my eyes shut close, I was absolutely ready to fall asleep, but I forced myself not to. We talked for a while and when we got to my place I was jealous of my mom.

She was keeping your attention away from me and there was nothing I could do to stop my jealousy or to keep her away from you. I mean, it was pretty cool to see you guys hang out so well, but for fuck's sake! She doesn't need to steal you away from me the second we walk inside the house. A part of me was happy though. I was happy that you felt so much at ease around my family that you even helped preparing dinner, or how you answered any and all questions from both mom and dad. You smiled and laughed whenever you felt like it and that warmed my heart, because seeing you so comfortably fitting around my family made my heart swell with pride, not only had I found a gorgeous guy to be my boyfriend, but he was a great guy around the people I love.

Mom and dad were not that shocked when we asked them to do a sleepover, they were reluctant because, hmm… We're boyfriends, they obviously expected something to happen. Even so, they agreed with warm smiles on their faces and we beamed at each other.

You looked so beautiful, Cas. My heart started beating faster and I couldn't make it slow down, not even a little bit.

* * *

The sleepover was awesome. We got to stay up all night, we watched a few movies with Sam, played a few video games with him too and after that mom and dad bid us goodbye and in the blink of an eye we were left alone. At first, we only snuggled closer on the couch, making sure there was no empty space between us. Your back was against my chest, my arms were pulling you closer, your head was falling between the couch and my shoulder. Those moments were a blessing. We got to stay as close to each other as it was possible, simply breathing the other in, and from time to time, one of us would turn their head (sometimes we did it at the same time) and kissed any piece of flesh we could find.

At some point we got up and walked into my bedroom. We had decided not to use two mattresses and simply sleep together in my bed. This way we could simply spoon all night and be content in the other's arms. We stayed awake for a while, simply asking the other questions such as "When did you learn to ride a bike?" and then we moved onto more personal questions "When did you find out you're gay?" and "How was it like to tell your family?" this was how I found out you aren't gay, you're actually pansexual. You had to sit down your parents and give them a lecture about sexual orientations and gender before you explained it to them; they took it well, they were proud that you 'chose' to love anyone, but they were a bit confused as to what was the difference between pansexuality and bisexuality. You had to patiently explain them once more that not every guy was a guy, not every girl was a girl, and most definitely some people were more than one at the same time. After that they simply realized it and didn't need any more questions.

You asked me "What's it like to be gay and tell your parents?" I told you that the telling my parents bit had been in your presence and you blushed so hard you had to cover your face in my chest. That was the moment you realized just how much you mean to me, because you were the reason I even came out to my parents. "Being gay is just like being anything else really…" I explained "The only difference is that you don't check girl's out, you look at boys and notice how cute and gorgeous they are." We kept talking and talking until you asked me "What was the first thing you thought when you first saw me?" I chuckled lightly and kissed your temple. "Besides noticing how blue your eyes are and how your hair contrasts with it? The first thing I saw was your cute head tilt. You were so adorable that I couldn't stop staring. After that I got curious and started looking everywhere to search for your tousled black hair and your gorgeous blue eyes.". You groaned when I kissed your cheek lightly.

We kept teasing each other, by explaining our first thoughts and how cute we thought the other was or how we just kept staring at each other during classes, silently wishing the other would notice. I blamed myself for being an idiot and not telling you sooner, we could have gotten together like two years ago had I had the guts to tell you. You simply kissed me softly and whispered "Don't blame yourself over what's dead and gone, we are together now and that is all that matters."

 

All in all, the sleepover was a success, we shared a bed for the first time, we didn't stop hugging the other, we kept kissing whichever inch of flesh we could reach (and by that I mean our faces and neck you pervert!) and the best part of it… Well, the best part was waking up with you next to me, your hands clutching my black t-shirt and your head resting on my chest.

Thank you for the best night of my life, Cas.

 

 

Love,

Dean.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you enjoyed this! ^^   
> find me on [tumblr](http://bidean.co.vu) :)


	7. Brother Bonding

Dear Dean,

 

I was right, the sleepover was amazing. I loved every moment I got to spend with you; it was magical... fingers trailing each other’s skin, eyes gazing into each other, mouths lingering on the other… As I said, magical. It was simply perfect.

Sleeping alone the next night wasn’t as fun... I rolled in my bed for a long time before I managed to fall asleep. It was hard waking up in the middle of the night, trying to snuggle closer to you and you not being there. Waking up in the morning was also hard, since you weren’t there to kiss my face until I was ready to finally open my eyes and face the sunlight.

But this is life, I can’t sleep next to you everyday yet, and I certainly can’t wait for the moment I will be able to do that.

Our relationship hasn’t been a sexual one yet, both of us always aim close to it, but we never actually did something. I am thinking about it, though… I think it will be weird, that I will not know exactly what to do and that I will screw up, but I can’t stop myself from wishing to do it.

You’re coming over today, we’re gonna watch a movie and, if we’re lucky, we might be able to convince mom and dad to let you stay here instead of going home. It’s not like we’re gonna do the nasty tonight, but having you close to me again all night will be good and hopefully it will sooth the longing I feel in my heart whenever we’re apart. It warms my heart just knowing there’s a possibility of not waking up alone tomorrow.

My brother asked how you were, he keeps asking about you, but I’m not sure if just wants to check we’re still together or if he really wants to know. I think he mostly wants to know if you broke my heart and left me, so he can hate you… Don’t worry, Dean, we will work past this. I think we should try to hang out in my place a bit more often so that he gets used to seeing you around and stops being a little bitch.

Sam and I have been texting each other lately. He keeps sending me questions, like “ _How are your dates going?_ ” or “ _Did he tell you he wines everytime he wakes up in the middle of night? He calls out your name and it’s becoming very annoying because he always ends up waking me up._ ” but sometimes, we talk about other things, not related to you at all “ _Cas! Can you help me with my History paper?_ ” or  “ _Have you read Harry Potter yet?? I need someone to talk to!  Dean says he doesn’t want to read them. Cas. You. Have. To. Read. Them. Trust me!!!_ ”. It’s very fascinating seeing how your brother is becoming my friend, without getting too close. I like Sam, he’s a very interesting person who keeps trying to make me a better reader. Don’t tell him yet, but I am reading Harry Potter 1 now; I’m quite enjoying it actually, it’s a very interesting way to put society in.

 

Love,

Cas.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if you enjoyed! :D

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think of this! :)  
> Find me on [tumblr](http://bidean.tumblr.com)


End file.
